2012-10-01
2012-10-31
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COMW 151
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English 151

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this is the third and-- thank god-- final debate between barack obama and mitt romney. to topic, foreign policy. bad news for president obama because -- >> in the history of presidents of the united states, he's our worst at foreign policy. >> this is a very weak ill-conceived foreign policy. every place you look is failure. >> the jimmy carter years look like the good old days compared to where we are right now. >> the president has communicated weakness. >> jon: weakness in foreign policy! obama is weaker than coolidge in foreign policy! weaker than polk! weaker than president flinchington j. craphispants. (laughter) as you know, the only president in united states history who ever had his wallet stolen by a baby. (laughter) you don't hear as much about old president craphispants. (laughter) but given obama's foreign policy record, this debate is going to be a bloodbath. >> i congratulate him on taking out osama bin laden. drones are being used in drone strikes and i support that entirely. and feel the president was right. i want to underscore the same point the president made

detroit auto industry managed bankruptcy is not precisely what romney recommended. romney precisely recommended private credit, which at the time was to be precise non-existent. meaning under his plan detroit's bankruptcy would have been unmanaged and quite permanent. so the big question would be: which version of barack obama would respond. the first debate, sleepy time ma gill cutty or pretty talk jones. >> candy, what governor romney said just isn't true. >> jon: it's alive! it's alive! [cheering and applause] whoa, whoa. yes, president barack obama decided to attend this debate. [laughter] and the two candidates could finally have a truthful, substantive discussion about how much they [bleeped] hate each other. [laughter] >> governor, we have actually produced more oil. >> no, no, how much did you cut licenses and permits on federal land and federal... >> production is up. >> it's down. >> no it isn't. >> production on government land and oil is down 14%. >> governor, what you're saying just not true. >> you'll get your chance in a moment. i'm still speaking. the answer is -- >>

obama is saying to the electorate, hit me baby, one more time. (laughter) whereas mitt romney is perhaps suggesting, i'm a genie in a bottle. (laughter) really, they're not sung by the same person, are you sure? no, they are sung by the wonders that judge on the talent show. there's two music talent shows? i have got to get myself a zune. (laughter) what are we talking about? oh, yeah, mitt romney's closing arguments. >> the government of the united states is not a good venture capitalists, he likes to pick winners and losers, about $90 billion in green energy companies like solyndra and tess la a friend of mine says he doesn't mind picking winners and losers, he likes picking losers. >> half of them, the ones invested in have gone out of business. >> jon: holy crap! is that true, half? 63 energy companies got significant federal stimulus money and three and a half years later five have gone bankrupt. so that is half, 50%, that's amazing. that's-- what? oh, that's not the same number, hold on-- oh, it's actually 8%, man. i really have to get a zune. (laughter) and then sell it and get a

tired to me. >> romney won hands down. >> he was very, very bad last night. >> jon: there is no red america there is no blue america there is only the america that can't believe how bad this guy did in the debate. how bad was the defeat o bama lost despite mitt romney doing this. >> i'm sorry, i will stop the sub sid to pgs. i like big board, i like few, but i'm not going to keep on spending money on things to borrow money from china to pay for it. >> jon: mother [bleep] fired big board. america's favorite nonfried bird. he fired big board and won. beloved children's character. romney could have water boarded aladdin, put down blue, deported dora the explorer. and still won walking away. romney won with the sound up. >> your title of the president of your own airplane, house and facts. >> jon: romney won with the sound off. dude, he's yelling at you. look up. look up! what are you looking at? what are you writing that's so important? what are you doing-- oh, that's not-- oh, i didn't realize that is impressive work. i didn't realize that. (applause) maybe you could give that to mitt

>> jon: that's our show, here it is, your moment of zen. >> what did you think about mitt romney this evening? go? >> i think he was assertive, confident and hungry for the job. >> i found him to be more human and relatable tonig captioning sponsored by comedy central captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) (audience chanting "stephen") >> stephen: welcome to the "report." thank you, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us in here out there. i'm sure you can tell by that chanting this crowd has gotten c oshslbmentum. (laughter) ladies and gentlemen, last night was the third and final presidential debate. it threw much-need attention to two key domestic issues, "monday night football" and the national league championship. (laughter) as you remember, folks, the first debate was a blowout win for romney. the second debate-- also happened. (laughter) so let's get the truth of night three in "stephen colbert's debate 2012 coverage." two men, one wheel. who gets to drive us over the cliff? (laughter) (cheers and applause) (cheers and

it. >> it looked like romney wanted to be there and president obama didn't want to be there. >> stephen: yes! it was like obama wasn't even there. he hasn't done this poorly since he debated clint eastwood. (laughter) meanwhile-- (cheers and applause) meanwhile, romney was the alpha mitt, slapping obama around. and, anyone else who got in mitt away. >> i'm sorry, jim, i'm going to stop the subsidy to pbs. i will stop other things. i like pbs. i like big bird, i actually like you too. but i'm not going to keep on spending money for things to borrow from china to pay for it. >> stephen: he just told the moderator who works at pbs, i'm going to throw your ass out on the street, old man! you-- (cheers and applause) you, not only you-- but all those freeloading muppets. that takes not just one ball, but two, two enormous balls! (applause) but, folks, as much as i enjoyed the triumph of the willard, what i loved most was the heartwarming pant crapping over at msnbc. >> i was disappointed in the president. i thought he was off his game. i was absolutely stunned tonight. >> there wa

for romney. the second debate-- also happened. (laughter) so let's get the truth of night three in "stephen colbert's debate 2012 coverage." two men, one wheel. who gets to drive us over the cliff? (laughter) (cheers and applause) (cheers and applause) these people are huge fans of buick. (laughter) i was so excited because last night was officially the foreign policy debate. unfortunately-- and i do not know this-- that means you have to talk about a lot of other stupid countries. (laughter) and this being boca raton, florida, they hit all the important ones. >> israel is a true friend, it is our greatest ally in the region. >> israel. our closest friend in the region. >> they have to abide by their treaty with israel. >> our ally israel. >> our bond w israel. >> israel. >> israel. >> israel. >> israel. >> israel. >> israel. (laughter) >> stephen: i was playing a drinking game last night where i took a shot of manischewitz every time -- (cheers and applause) every time someone said "israel" and by the end of the debate i was totally diabetic. (laughter) but, folks, this wasn't

from obama to romney this time. >> my heart and soul would really love someone like reagan. y captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: tonight, should churches endorse candidates? well, can you make an attack ad out of stained glass? (laughter) then, the candidates prepare for tomorrow night's debate. president obama has a whole new set of long pauses to memorize. (laughter) and my guest is univision news anchor jorge ramos. but it's my show so i'm going to call him george raymond. (laughter) the lead singer of creed says he won't endorse president obama! well, that settles it, obama will not win the 1998 presidential election. (laughter) this is "the colbert report" (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome to the "report" everybody, good to see you. (cheers and applause) (audience chanting "stephen") (cheers and applause) >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen. welcome to the "report." thank you for joining us. well, fol

. >> nothing governor romney just said is true. >> yes it is! (laughter) you apologized. not only that, you bowed to leaders all over the world! that is not presidential! f.d.r. never bowed to foreign leaders. (laughter) he never even stood for them! (laughter) but obama -- (cheers and applause) -- obama, obama will bow to anyone! hell, after the debate he bowed to romney's grandson! (laughter) and, folks, great points by romney but it's not just what romney said it's the way he didn't say it. >> the president had a very intent look on his face. i wouldn't describe it as a mean look, i would describe it as a man looking for opportunities to strike. >> governor romney, it seemed to me, had this kind of benign default expression in which he appears to be interested most of the time, he has a slight smile on his face but not a smug one. i wonder if hi his was not the more attractive default expression. (laughter) >> stephen: yes! romney's face totally kicked obama's face's ass. (laughter) jimmy, put up romney's default expression. see? see? that's nice. that reminds me of a benevolent angel wa

the law by directly endorsing one of the candidates. it doesn't matter which, either romney or not-obama. (laughter) and to try to force this issue into court the sermons will be recorded and sent to the i.r.s. folks, i like this new rebel attitude from the pulpit. maybe someday we'll turn on fox news and see a high-speed popemobile chase. (laughter) pastor jim garlow, one of the leaders behind freedom sunday says it's all about principle. >> we believe there should be no governmental intrusion in the pulpit at all. a pastor should be-- if he wants to endorse or a oppose a candidate. and that should be the right of the pastor based upon the first amendment. freedom of speech and freedom of religion. no governmental intrusion into the pulpit. >> i don't need the government protecting me from speech, i am a mature free-thinking american capable of making my own rational decisions about which candidate my priest said got wants know pick. (laughter) and, folks, it should not stop there, i want my religious leaders to weigh in on everything. judicial races, school board elections, bond

and they are going all out preparing. >> president obama and governor mitt romney are preparing for wednesday's debate on in denver. >> msnbc obama's leaving on sunday for two or three days of debate camp. >> oh, debate camp! >> oh i remember going to debate camp, i remember like no sports, a bitter rival, camp normal malfun. >> let's see if i remember the debate camp stopping if i can. ♪ >> on the shores of lake rhetoric, we practiced logical consistency. will beat your ad hominem attacks on false tautologies. and logical falsie. >> not in the face! not in the face! getting your ass kick is actually written into the song! >> so two highly accomplished men to see which one becomes the most powerful man in the free world. >> romney has to be chomping at the bits. >> beth myers tells campaign surrogates there are several reasons she believes the president will be likely to win the first debate. >> he has done these kind of debates before, this is mitt's first time on this kind of a stage. >> oh! >> maybe he is more on home at the vegas stage. >> r rated hypnotists or two gay germans trying

, everybody see that debate last night? butn't that great? i mean, romney clearly won. and, folks, i am not just saying that, i am saying that on tv. so if you're an undecided voter who did not watch, just trust me, it is 2 and 0. even though, even though, folks, the night was clearly stacked against mitt. after that first debate debacle, barack obama had definitely won the low expectations game. >> for obama the bar is rather low, compared to the first debate all he has to do is string a few sentences together, coherently to make eye contact with a single extentient human and show the slightest animation in his face. >> colbert: charles kraut hammer is right, low bar, obama's last debate performance was so bad .. that bar was set at charles kraut hammer. >> now, mitt, on the other hand, mitt, mitt romney, much greater challenge. >> we are told that they have practiced to such a level of detail that he even was preparing how he sits and there is a good reason for that. he is going to be sitting on a bar stool and mitt romney is a mormon, so he doesn't spend a lot of time on bar stools,

and moan by mitt romney. (laughter) (laughter) no? (cheers and applause) i stand by that phrase. (laughter) and it is now mitt romney who cannot be mounted or blown. i -- you know, there's a better -- will there's a better way of saying this, i'm sure. so perhaps now is the time to actually pay attention to what our future overlord has been saying. (laughter) his dreams, his assessment of the state of the country now that he is 100% assured of winning this election as obama was just last weekend. (laughter) >> this is unacceptable. it is not working. trillion-dollar deficits for the last four years. there's over $16 trillion in debt. harder and harder for small businesses to grow and thrive. the amount of debt we're adding at a trillion a year is simply not moral. >> jon: not moral! (laughter) that means for mitt romney this terrible debt is worse than of fept. (laughter) >> jon? >> yes, mormon god. >> not cool, bro. (laughter) >> jon: shouldn't you be on broadway? (cheers and applause) >> no, no! >> jon: little joke there. but all right we have been irresponsible with government spending.

romney, much greater challenge. >> we are told that they have practiced to such a level of detail that he even was preparing how he sits and there is a good reason for that. he is going to be sitting on a bar stool and mitt romney is a mormon, so he doesn't spend a lot of time on bar stools, according to his aides, because he doesn't drink. >> colbert: yes. that is true. that is true. you should know that. only people who drink know how to sit on stools. that's why, whenever you see someone successfully sitting on one, that is an early sign of alcoholism. seek help!, please! >> the guy falling off the stool, that is your designated driver. and that is why last night's debate, i have to tell you, i mean, it was such a challenge for mitt. lack of stool experience. i mean, where would mitt have seen one? his kitchen counter? everyone knows the romney family eats standing at podiums. but once mitt managed to dock his butt with the international stool station, just like that, oh, then, then the candidates took their gloves off and everybody knows it. >> fight night at hofstra, a heated showdo

is trying to read the tea leaves. except romney who as a mormon is allowed only to read the caffeine free diet coke. but that's not looking good either because obama currently leads romney by 10 points in ohio, 9 points in florida and 12 points in pennsylvania which wouldn't be a problem if between now and november 6th we can just get 290 million people to move to arkansas. (laughter) arkansas, come for the mess, stay because you traded your car for meth. but-- (applause) but, folks there is no reason to panic over these pole numbers. just ask mitt. >> i'm curious to what you would say to your supporters, your donors that might be concerned that this could be slipping away way. >> i'm very pleased with some polls, not with other polls but at this early stage polls go up and down. >> exactly, it's still early, there are 40 days left until the election amount of lot can happen in 40 days. bama could make a gaffe. mitt could win the debates. god could send a flood to destroy all mankind. so there's hope. (laughter) in fact, the election is so far off, why are we even talking about it. mitt i

happened, like mitt romney unhinged his jaw and swallowed obama whole and then spend an hour and a half just like this, digesting him. but i don't know what happened. but i'm excited. here it is, your moment of zen. >> let's talk about... >> he made a fool of himself. he made a fool of himself in the last debate. >> the issue here... >> we are reaching that point tonight that i didn't want to reach. >> nobody captioning sponsored y comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central ["the colbert report" theme music playing] ( cheers and applause ) chanting stephen's name] >> stephen: welcome to the report, ladies and gentlemen. thank you so much. [cheers and applause] good to have you with us. [cheers and applause] thank you so much. nation, tonight is the third and final presidential debate between former governor mitt romney and future former president barack obama. [ laughter ] i'm tivoing it, so nobody tell me whether the moderate or conservate romney kicked the lethargic or energetic obama's ass. love laugh a lot of option

presidential debate between former governor mitt romney and future former president barack obama. [ laughter ] i'm tivoing it, so nobody tell me whether the moderate or conservate romney kicked the lethargic or energetic obama's ass. love laugh a lot of option there's. -- options there. [ laughter ] of course, these debates may not matter at all. because there's one issue that could invalidate the entire election. >> voter fraud it's a big concern in this case. >> voter fraud allegations. voter fraud? >> stephen: yes, voter fraud. now, i'm not going to bore you with any shocking examples of voter fraud because it is virtually non-existent. [ laughter ] but i say we can't be too careful, folks. anybody voting that i don't personally know is kind of suspicious. [ laughter ] thankfully, there are some heroes out there trying to keep this process pure. >> a republican worker is arrested for voter fraud. >> he is a contractor. >> someone working at a business in a local g.o.p. headquarters building spotted a man dumping voter registration form. they found 8 completed forms in the dumpster. >> ste

suggesting you stand up to mr. romney "with all due respect, you're a ( bleep ) liar!" you put that first part on it. of course, during the debate governor romney left himself open to counter-attack as well. >> i'm sorry, jim, i'm going to stop the subsidy to pbs. i'm going to stop other things. i like pbs. i like big bird glo it's great muppet caper. naming as his only specific budget cut, the relative pittance that is pbs and children's television worked shop. >> thank goodness somebody is finally getting tough on big bird. >> jon: jaby-jab! excellent next-day comeback. ( laughter ) ( applause ) well done. ( applause ) yes. it's that 3:00 a.m. "oh, that's what i should have said! oh, m! the sassy counter-punch along with the recent decent jobs reports and debt to g.d.p. having hit a low,. >> mitt romney may have won the debate on wednesday night. but president obama won the postdebate. >> jon: see! the postdebate. at that rate, okay, fine, obama may lose the election, but he'll win the postelection. ( laughter ). november may suck, but that guy is going to have a sweet december. ( lau

! [ laughter ] then, it's autumn. don't forget to go outside and watch the beautiful changing of mitt romney's positions. [ laughter ] and my guest, chrystia freeland, says the wealthy are leaving the rest of the world behind. yeah. that's kinda the point. [ laughter ] scientists have found a turtle that pees through its mouth. or has a penis that looks like a face. [ laughter ] this is "the colbert report." [ captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) holy cow. wow. [cheers and applause] ladies and gentlemen, unbelievable. you will not believe -- [crowd chanting stephen] oh, my gosh. thank you. [cheers and applause] welcome to the report, thank you for joining us. i don't -- folks -- i don't know if can tell with a just happened but i just got buried underneath an avalanche of love. [cheers and applause] a love-alanch, will you will. nation, tonight was the big vice presidential debate between joe biden and paul ryan in danville, kentucky. the whoop-ass in the blue grass, the bare-knucky in kentucky. [ laughter ] now, i haven't seen it yet. nor wil

mitt romney has been a severe conservative. but last week he moved to the center in his victorious debate. so which is the real mitt romney? a mystery this deep requires a man who really knows the meaning of "to thine own self be true." me, stephen colbert! this is formidable opponent. [cheers and applause] ♪ [bell ringing] >> stephen, thank you for joining me. >> well, i'll go on any show to promote my new book "america again, rebecoming the greatness we never weren't." [ laughter ] next week, i'm guest-hosting "here comes honey boo boo." 'cuz a dollah makes me hollah! [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] >> well, i'd never stoop that low myself, but i've got to admire shameless self-promotion. >> oh no-- there's some shame. [ laughter ] >> i'd love an autographed copy. >> you bet: okay. here we go. all right. to stephen, you complete me. stephen. all right. there you go. >> thanks very much. >> okay, stephen, voters respond to authenticity. so mitt's clear victory in the 1st debate proves his new moderate values are the real ones. >> you are adorable. who got sucked in by romney?

's the stakes in the election are really big. governor romney makes a good presentation but the fundaments of what he's calling for are the same policies that got us into the mess we've been fighting against for the last four years trying to dig our way out of. an economy was good for the folks at the top but wasn't working for ordinary americans and after 31 months of consecutive job growth we've seen 5.2 million jobs created, manufacturing's coming back, auto industry's recovering. housing is rising. i don't want to go back to the same policies and i want to make sure we're building on the progress we've made to create jobs in america for folks and to make sure middle class families have security. >> jon: would you say -- do you feel you have a stronger affirmative case for a second barack obama presidency or a stronger negative case for a mitt romney presidency? in you're mind -- what is the stronger case to be made or do you prefer an malange. did you feel do you feel you've made the strong enough affirmative case or negative. >> i have a strong case on both ends. look, four years ago

up romney the latest polls have romney neck and neck with obama. folks, this race is as tight as mitt's smile when he meets a poor person. ( laughter ) ( laughter ) unfortunately, unfortunately, folks, there's still one poll out there that gives paum a chance. >> 7-eleven stores are giving voice to the people by offering a choice of coffee cubs in obama blue or romney red. the company says the votes people cast nationally can be used as valuable polling data. >> stephen: yes. in 7-eleven's cup hole, right now, obama is up by 20 points ( cheers and applause ) no, folks, wait a second. are we sure they're not using four--year-old data? because i'm pretty sure they're using four-year-old hot dogs. what is terrifying about this is the 7-eleven cup poll is uncharacterly accurate. >> did you know this promotion actually lined up perfectly with the results of a 2004 and 2008 elections? >> stephen: and who can forget in 2010 when they accurately predicted the election of senator shrek? ( laughter ) nation, i call bias on 7-eleven. their entire poll has a margin of error of plus or m

? or is mitt romney just saying it is? >> stephen: why didn't our consulate have more security? why was the intelligence so slow to come out? and more importantly, if you put a statement in the form of a question, is it journalism? [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] so why did the administration imply these attacks were incited by a youtube video that insults the prophet mohammed? would anyone else like to chime in? >> why, why would he -- he and his administration -- speak repeatedly about that little video and with such authority and certainty? >> why would they come up with the video? >> are we really going to blame a video? [ laughter ] >> stephen: how could a video possibly incite violence? jimmy, why don't we watch it? ♪ >> stephen: why has my network forbidden me to show that video? did obama get to them? [ laughter ] or is there some other question i should be asking? [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] >> did the president, did his team, call this an act of terror from the start? why do you think they have such trouble saying that? >> does the obama administration have a p

mitt romney. now, unfortunately, the latest quinnipiac/"new york times"/cbs/t.c.b.y. poll has obama up by ten points in ohio, nine points in florida and 12 points in pennsylvania. (cheers and applause) i don't get it. i don't get it, folks. how can romney be behind? he's so popular that his fans are releasing bootlegs of his speeches! (laughter) folks, don't believe the critics who say this campaign doesn't have a prayer. he's going to have plenty of prayers-- thank thanks to a new web site called 40daystosaveamerica.com. >> all around us we see a nation falling around us into attacks on religious liberty. we're asking pastors and congregations all over america to commit to 40 days of prayer, fasting, and action. prayer plus fasting plus action equals change. >> stephen: that's amazing. because usually prayer plus fasting plus action equals passing out. (laughter) now, the hero-- (applause) the hero behind this project is texas pastor rick scarborough who last august helped launch rick perry's presidential campaign with the stadium prayer rally and god responded with a polite "no thank

by the liberal hacks over at fox news. (laughter) just listen to chris wallace drilling ryan over romney's proposed 20% across account board tax cut. >> the obama camp says independent groups say if you cut those tax rates for everybody 20%, it costs $5 trillion over ten years, true? >> not in the least bit true. >> stephen: true, not true, who cares? (laughter) it's over ten years. romney and ryan will only be in office for eight of those. let president bachmann worry about it in 2020. that is what hindsight is for. but folks, just listen to this pit bull. >> how much would it cost. >> it's revenue neutral. >> i'm talking about the cut, we'll get to the deductions. >> the cut in tax rates is lower all american tax rate by 20%. >> how much does that cost. >> it's revenue neutral. >> stephen: okay, revenue neutral, chris. but for some reason wallace wouldn't take no answer for an answer. (laughter) jim? >> well, it's not revenue neutral unless you take away the deduction. >> let me just -- >> you haven't given me the math. >> well, i don't have-- it would take me too long to go through al

pole! mr. gorbachev, tear down this narwhal! (laughter) then mitt romney threatens iran. stop your nuclear program or he will cut off your pbs! (laughter) and my guest is music legend and animal rights activist morrissey in his honor, today my interns are free range! (cheers and applause) nasa's "curiosity" rover has found a small shiny object on mars. it's either the top of a giant metal city buried beneath the sand or a screw. (laughter) this is "the colbert report." (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to the "report," everybody, thank you so much for joining us! (cheers and applause) thank you so much, please, nation -- (audience chanting "stephen") thank you so much, please, ladies and gentlemen, you're too kind to me. nation, it has been 16 months since mitt romney declared his candidacy-- a month since he accepted the nomination and five days since he started running for president. (laughter) folks, he is surging! new polls have him tied with or leading the presid

an mccain bowl. he preferred the obama nuts and this year he favors romney nuts. (laughter) >> stephen: there it. (cheers and applause) folks, get used to the term president romney. hmmmm, hmmmm. oh that leaves a real taste in your mouth. what is that? i think that's-- that's romney nuts. (laughter) hmmmm, hmmmm. (applause) folks, it is going to be great. because mitt has got big plans right out of the gate. >> i will repeal obamacare and stop it in its tracks on day one. starting on day one. i'm going to do what it takes to get america back to work. >> on day one i will label china a currency manipulater. >> i can guarantee you if i'm president on day one we're going to get at approval from that pipeline from canada. >> i will on day one put a halt to all the regulations that were put in during the obama years. >> stephen: wow! the drive and ambition. i mean those are the qualities of a real leader. or a serious tweaker. (laughter) either way, m itt is going to keep those promises, i know. because i have his day one schedule right here. let's see. okay, here we go. january 20th, 2013.

ago president obama and governor romney wrapped up their first debate. who knows if they even had the debate with yesterday's bombshell. full day, drudge-con one, blue siren alert, obama race video. hannity had the exclusive. >> tonight you will hear from barack obama like you have never heard from him before. a video has been uncovered from a campaign event in 2007 of then-candidate obama. it contains some of the most divisive class warfare and rarlly charged rhetoric ever use by barack obama. >> jon: casually tossing out words like honky, white trash, o-fay, spf-45 wearing mother... the video had been widely covered when the event occurred in 2007, but that doesn't matter. i'll let hannity's guest explain. >> people say, this has already been reported. well, it hasn't been, and i know because i reported on it the first time. [laughter] [applause] >> jon: so let's see some of the highlights of this, explosive video. >> cracker ass, cracker ass cracker. i wish that cracker would have said some [bleeped] to me. saltine ass mother [bleeped]. [laughter] >> jon: obviously that's just

captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> tonight, mitt romney still trails in the polls! could bit because they contain other choices? then a breakthrough in men's vitality. >> what vagina substitutes we will be throwing footballs through next and my guest is country music legend kenny rogers, i will ask him if those islands in the stream make good tax shelters. and pornographers were caught filming in the cornell university library. clearly, they could not get into the hear extraordinary library. this is the colbert report. captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) >> colbert: welcome. that is incredible. ladies and gentlemen, thank you. good to have you with us. boy, i can feel the electricity. i can feel the electricity. ladies and gentlemen, in here, out there, across america, you know why people are excited because it is a huge night. the first presidential debate just happened in denver. now, i haven't seen it yet so don't tell me what happens. if anything happens. jim. >> the buying question is

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